One Year

Happy Birthday Jessica!

Today is bitter sweet for me. One year ago today I met and held our daughter Jessica. She was so beautiful. So perfect. The joy of seeing her face and touching her hands and feet, and knowing she was mine was pure joy. But it was also the toughest day of my life. Trying to say goodbye to a daughter that was taken before I even knew what hit me is undescribable. This past year has been full ups and downs. But on this year anniversary I want to honor her memory with this short post. I will always remember the day I met her (sweet) and I will always remember the day I came home without her (bitter). I love you Jess!

Lucy Comes Home!

What a wonderful surprise we had when we went to the hospital today.....Shannon (sister) and I went to give Lucy her 11am feeding and the doctor said we could take her home!! Lucy has been in the NICU for 11 days and it was so unexpected that Shan and I both started crying. The nurses were chuckling by our reaction, but touched. I told them it had been a long hard road and finally, this was the day I had been waiting for!! So Jason came up from work with her carseat and clothes and we brought Miss Lucy home. Woohoo!!

Jason, Emily, and Lucy

Aunt Shannon holding Lucy the night before she came home

Lucy, in her NICU crib

Big Brother Quinn getting Lucy her "Boo" (pacifier)

Big Brother thinking it is pretty cool to have a "bebe" around.

Thanks to everyone who prayed for Lucy and us. I feel so blessed to have a healthy baby in my arms, at last. I truly know that each baby born is a miracle. Lucy just happens to be our miracle. Welcome home Lucy!!

Making Her Debut / The Whole Story

Introducing Lucy Jane Scanlan. Born February 7, 2009. She weighed 6 lbs. 9 oz and was 19.5 inches long.
Jason and I were watching the Super Bowl and right at kickoff I told him we must go to the hospital. It was time!! We checked in and contractions were every 3 minutes apart and painful! The hospital called my doctor and he told them to give me meds to stop the contractions. It wasn't time. After 6 days in the hospital, being pumped full of magnesium sulfate, the doctor fianlly said it WAS time. I had a C-Section at 10 am on Saturday morning. Although Lucy was born 4 weeks premature, I had good feelings that everything was going to be fine.

Lucy's first breaths of air Jason showing me Lucy for the first time. (love being strapped to the operating table)

BUT, there were problems. Even though we had the steroid shots, Miss Lucy's lungs were underdeveloped. The next time I saw her, she looked like this.

Lucy in the NICU with her C-pap machine on.

Then we got word the Lucy had jaundice and so she was placed under the flourescent lights. She was, however, quickly taken off the C-pap machine and place on continuos flow of oxygen. This meant she only had to have the little prongs in her nose.
Lucy getting a sweet suntan
The first time I was able to hold Lucy wasn't until the day after she was born. That was really hard not being able to just hold her whenever I wanted. But when we were up there holding her, the nurses asked if we wanted to change her diaper and give her a bath. It was one of the sweetest moments being able to wash her off and see her tiny legs and hands.

I celebrated my birthday in the hospital. (even though I got my present the day before) My mom and dad came down and had cookies and presents. They even sang me "Happy Birthday!" Jason's parents also came down to wish me a Happy Birthday. Although I was in the hospital, it was a definite memorable birthday. Today Lucy is still in the NICU, but her "problems" are non-life threatening and I know she will be home shortly. I go to the hospital everyday to see her and everyday she is getting better and better. Thank you to everyone who prayed for us, sent us good thoughts and even visited. My stay at the hospital was tough on me mentally, so thanks to the visitors who kept my spirits up and kept me company. It all meant so much to me. (more on this to follow)

We Have a Date!

Finally! My doctor has scheduled my C Section for February 17! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have been on bedrest now for 13 weeks. I have had some ups and downs, but now I am truly getting excited to have this baby! You can learn a lot about yourself (and your husband for that matter) by spending 13 weeks on bedrest. I learned that I really do like a clean house. And my need to control that. I always want to get up and do dishes, laundry, pick toys up, etc. And I have learned that I have a husband that you just have to tell him to do it. In the ideal world, he would just do it, but he will do anything I tell him. (almost anything) I learned that TV during the day is all CRAP! I learned that when you have nothing else to do, you can finish a good book in day. I learned that it is not a good idea to watch the Food Network when you are on bedrest because then you just want to eat all day. I learned that when you call people to catch up, you really have nothing "new" to tell. So I quit calling. I learned that showering is sometimes optional when you lay around all day. I learned how to knit baby caps. I learned that the world keeps going even though I am not a part of it right now.
So here's to February 17. It means a new baby, new freedoms, and a lot more chaos! Bring it on!

We All Have a Throw Up Story

Yesterday started like any other. Quinn was taken by a friend and played at the park and had fun until his nap. He came home to nap and had been asleep only about 45 minutes when he woke up crying. I went in to see what was wrong and he would not settle down. Thinking he had an ear infection I called the Doctor and made an appointment to take him in. Then I called Jason and he came home from work so we could take Quinn to the doctor. (bedrest or not, I am going with my sick kid!)

The doctor checked him over and said that his ears were fine. Maybe bad gas? The doctor did say that Quinn has a 2 year old molar coming in and perhaps that is why he is fussy. Give him some Children's Tylenol and call it a day!

While we were driving home we wanted to stop at American Home. Apparently they are going bankrupt and need to liquidate. We thought we would peek in. Right as we enter the store Quinn threw up. Guess who was holding him??? NOT ME!!

Poor Jason. (doesn't he look hot with his beard?) But one of my favorite parts of this story is that I went into the store to find a worker to let them know what had happened so the front of the store didn't wreak like barf. I found an older lady and asked if there were towels or a janitorial closet that I might be able to help clean up the throw up of my son. She looks at me and says "why don't you go to the ladies room and get a paper towel?" Apparently she has never had to clean throw up. I stood there speechless, appalled really. Another worker (male) overheard our conversation and said "we have a janitorial staff that will take care of it, maam. If you could just go to the front desk and let them know to page the janitor, that would be great!" Done. So Jason drove us all home in his throw uppy outfit and we put Quinn in the tub right away. Only 3 more throw ups and Quinn was done. Like a new man today.

Hello 2009!

Happy New Year! I have been reflecting on 2008...the good, the bad, the ugly. This may be a boring read for most of you out there, but I am writing more as a journal entry. A re-cap of 2008, if you will.
The Good
2 great trips to CA. The first was to Huntington Beach with my hubby and son. It was an anniversary trip and escape from reality. We saw many old friends and went to the beach. We ate at some of our favorite places and got to shop on Main St. Then we went to Manhattan Beach with the entire Williams clan. All the grandkids were there and we had a great time beaching it and joking around.

All the reading I was able to do this summer and while on bedrest. This is a good thing because I feel like I exercise my mind. I love to read, but can't always find the time to do it. It is such a great escape from the hustle and bustle of chasing a 2 year old around.

Making new friends. Our ward has turned out to be one of the greatest blessings in my life. There are so many wonderful families that we have become acquainted with, and more selfishly, the most extraordinary women that I have gotten to be friends with.

Having my dad retire. Although it doesn't affect me too much directly, I am always imagining what it must feel like to know that you are done working. You have put in all this time and now, all of a sudden, its over. What an accomplishment! What a weird feeling. Retired. Done! We are all so proud of him and look forward to spending more time with him.

Surprise! Getting pregnant and not trying to. Jason and I calculated that in 2008 there were only 2 months in which I was NOT pregnant! (is that some sort of record??)

(Material girl ALERT!!) My sweet husband gave me diamond stud earrings for Mothers Day this year. I casually mentioned in a conversation that diamond stud earrings are one piece of jewelry that I wouldn't mind having. (for those of you that know me well, I am not much of a jewelry person) He surprised me as I was getting ready for church, and I was soooo excited!

The Bad
Losing Jessica. This one is terribly obvious, but when we lost Jessica I thought my heart was going to quit on me. Who knew you could love someone so much that you only met once? Although losing her was a terrible and devastating thing to go through, I also think it brought me closer to family and my husband. My testimony of the gospel grew and I know that she will always be with me.

The economy. Let's just say that this was not our best year. Remember paying $3-$4 for a gallon of gas? Yeah, that helped the old pocket book.

Having relatives lose jobs. No names, but several relatives lost their jobs this year. It hurts my heart to see family suffer.

Bedrest. Going on 11 weeks now. Probably have 5 or 6 more to go. Need I say more?

The Ugly
Paint color. Oops! We painted Quinn's new room the wrong color and Jason had to repaint it. Although it wasn't exactly "ugly", it was a little overwhelming.

My body. I guess I am just not a pretty pregnant person. My body freaks when it is pregnant. Let's just call it what it is....ugly.

So I bid 2008 goodbye and say hello to 2009. I pray for a better year, a happier year, a year where all is right in the world. I am grateful to family who have so patiently and lovingly taken care of me, Jason and Quinn throughout this whole year. And that is what I will always remember about 2008. FAMILY. And I know that my family will be forever!!

The Couch is My Life

I haven't updated the blog a lot, because honestly there isn't much to tell. The couch has become my new home. I am not hard to find, because I am ALWAYS there. This past week when I went to the doctor, she said that the baby looks good and so does the cervix. The surgery I had is doing the trick! Baby already weighs 2 1/2 pounds. The plan is to have the C-Section around 37 weeks. I have been cleared for 2 "outings" a week. I mainly just go to the movies since I can recline in the chairs. I saw Twilight with the girls this week and will probably see another with Jason this weekend.

I am so sad to be on bedrest during the holidays. It has been hard to lay there and want so badly to decorate and get in the Christmas spirit. I often bake or make Toffee as Christmas presents for neighbors and friends. It really does dappen your mood when you are helpless. Jason did put up a tree and for that I am very thankful. At least there is some sort of Christmas spirit going on in our house.